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Rewriting the Story That Holds You Back
What you keep telling yourself is keeping you stuck
The Story You Tell Yourself Is Who You Become
For years, I told myself the same story:
"I'm not a natural leader."
Every time a major project landed on my desk, I would quietly brace for failure. I assumed others were more charismatic, more confident, better suited for the spotlight. So I stayed in the background, doing good work but never stepping fully into leadership.
That story controlled my behavior:
I avoided high-stakes meetings.
I hesitated to voice strong opinions.
I deferred decisions to others.
Then one simple conversation changed everything.
A mentor asked:
"Who told you you're not a leader?"
I paused.
The truth was uncomfortable: No one. I did.
The only thing holding me back was the language I was using to define myself.
That was the beginning of a shift.
The identity you live by is rarely imposed from the outside.
You write it—word by word—through the story you tell yourself.
In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins drills into a truth most people ignore:
Your internal language creates your external reality.
We don't act in conflict with who we believe we are.
If you tell yourself:
“I’m not good with money.”
“I always procrastinate.”
“I’m bad at relationships.”
“I can’t focus.”
You’ll unconsciously reinforce behaviors that support those beliefs.
But here's the power:
Identity is not fixed. It's programmed by the questions you ask and the words you use daily.
Robbins calls this the power of directed focus:
"Questions direct our focus, and where focus goes, energy flows."
Instead of asking:
“Why can’t I focus?”
“Why do I always mess this up?”
You shift to:
“How can I create deeper focus today?”
“What small win can I create right now?”
“What would it look like if I handled this with confidence?”
Each upgraded question rewires your identity one layer at a time.
Most people try to change behavior directly.
They install habits, track tasks, force discipline.
That works for a while.
But sustainable change comes from identity-level rewrites.
When you start believing:
“I’m the type of person who follows through.”
“I’m the type of person who leads calmly.”
“I’m the type of person who takes action.”
— your actions naturally align. You no longer fight yourself.
Identity precedes behavior.
And identity is a choice.
Today, write 3 identity-based affirmations that start with:
“I am the type of person who…”
Examples:
I am the type of person who creates clarity in chaos.
I am the type of person who executes even when it's uncomfortable.
I am the type of person who controls my attention.
Repeat these daily for 30 days.
Don’t force the behavior—reprogram the identity.
The behavior will follow.
What is one limiting identity statement you’ve been telling yourself?
Rewrite it into an empowering identity today.
Grab your copy of the Insight to Action eBook to build your personal system for turning knowledge into identity shifts and real-world momentum.
